Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
