ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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