If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
