the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
