According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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