Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
