i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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