I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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