dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
