? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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