We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
