We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
