If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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