UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
