please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
