we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
