your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well you can't waste a boner
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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