Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
whose parrot is this?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
