Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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