I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
