my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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