You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
