OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
