he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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