Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Green mimosas i think yes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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