it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
