Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
