She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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