Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
