I hope mine doesn't look like that
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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