:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
