Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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