As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
