But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
