Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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