dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize