Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
