Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
