I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
