try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
