I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
