I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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