That's when you crack a 10am beer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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