dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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