Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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