does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
