make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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