If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
