The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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