so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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