The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize