So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize