what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
