i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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