dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
