K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
