I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
