You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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