I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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