Where are you?
In a non slutty way
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
