...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize