Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
