Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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