A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He better not be in your backpack
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
