I think I died a long time ago.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
