So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
