from now on my penis is your penis
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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