what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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