I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
