are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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